April 2025
Karen Ensle EdD, RDN, FAND, CFCS
Rutgers Cooperative Extension of Union County
Loneliness has many causes, but social media replacing human interaction during COVID caused everyone to be less engaged in community involvement, friends and family. Long hours of work on computers or isolated from others makes us feel alone. We live in a country where self-reliance and independence are revered, however, feeling lonely is not good for our health.
There are three kinds of loneliness according to Jeremy Nobel, MD, MPH, author and founder of the Foundation for Art and Healing, a non-profit that specializes in public health concerns through creative expression. Loneliness is the absence of social connection whether you are in a big crowd or by yourself. There are three types of loneliness: Psychological, feeling excluded or existential which includes craving for a deeper purpose in life which affects young adults more than others. Fitting into a group, family, community is hard for many seeking to find strong social connections with others. Loneliness is a biological signal to the human body and brain that connection with others is critical for our survival.
Psychological loneliness is usually what we think of first. We crave that connection with another person. Feeling excluded, not fitting in or not belonging either due to race, class, gender, disability makes a person feel they are different and sets them apart from others.
Existential loneliness is the search for purpose in life. This type of loneliness effects many young adults as well as seniors and young adolescents. Fitting into a school or feeling comfortable with housing and neighborhood affects families young and old. Finding purpose in your life may help to cure your loneliness.
Three tips for curing your loneliness:
- Volunteer to help others as it is beneficial to you and those you are helping. It will improve your mood and feelings for social well-being.
- Find a group that you enjoy being with. It might be a book club or a pickleball group. Hobbies, exercise or recreational activities from yoga to running, music, cooking, fixing bikes, restoring furniture or cars are some ideas. Focus on what you like to do, and you will find others that will become a social network for you.
- Share your real, authentic self with others. Sharing your real thoughts and feelings with others helps to provide connections for you. Revealing your deep feelings and thoughts about yourself to others will encourage them to share with you as well. Strong bonds form between people when they open up and share who they really are. The bonds help to eliminate the loneliness and bring new, real relationships into your life.
If your loneliness is too overwhelming, reach out to your healthcare provider for support and strategies that can help you to create new connections for a healthier future.